Heart Leader

What is your risk tolerance?   For some taking risks is very uncomfortable and avoided whenever possible. For others, risk is a necessary part of everyday life.  I fall into the ladder category.  Risk taking is part of my make-up.  In my experience, some of the risks have led to failure and some to success.  The failures and successes are valuable opportunities to learn lessons and grow.  Hopefully the lessons lead to creating successes again and again and help us to be aware and avoid the risks that led to failure.

For some people, they look so deep into the potential opportunity that they avoid the risk because they find something that scares or alerts them of  possible issues or problems.  If we look too deeply into almost every opportunity, we may pass on the opportunity.  There is always going to the good, the bad and the ugly to every opportunity.  Does the good outweigh the bad?  Does this opportunity feed into our passion and purpose? 

Like deep relationships, it often takes years to fully realize the value of opportunities we act on.   We must be patient and wait to judge the value of the opportunity and the corresponding risk until enough time and experience has passed where we can make a fair and informed decision to stay on the path or go another direction.

 Action Plan: Today’s action plan is two fold,

1. Reflect on opportunities that you passed on which posed to much risk in your personal or professional life and re-evaluate those risks.  Did you pass on an opportunity that you should have taken advantage of?  Is it possible to revisit that opportunity and move forward.

2. Reflect on if you over prepare and over analyze every opportunity and potential risk to the point of passing too often on opportunities you should be moving forward with.

Where is your risk tolerance?

Thank you for reading my blog.

If you like what you read, please ask your friends and family to log on to http://www.heartleader.com and encourage them to sign up for my free weekly blog.

You can learn more about me on my web site at http://www.darylwizelman.com

My book, Heart Leader, can be purchased by clicking the link below.

http://www.bookmasters.com/marktplc/02877.htm

Daryl

The last weekend in May usually starts my thoughts about what I want to do over the summer months.  I watch the Indianapolis 500 on Memorial Day weekend and then all thoughts turn to being outside.  I enjoy the summer Sunday’s. My family and I spend in our Sunday’s in our yard and swimming in the pool.  I believe we are creating some memories that will last forever.

When the  summer months roll around, I always spend some time thinking about my bucket list and all of the things I want to do before I die.   This may be the time for you to be doing the same.  What do you want to do that you haven’t experienced yet?  Is there someone you want to spend time with?  Is there a place you want to visit?  Summer can be an excellent time for some time off to spend time with people we love and to rejuvenate. 

During my summers, I like to take my family on a vacation.  It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate.  It is just an opportunity for us to be together without the distractions that being at home brings.  My wife and I have 8 year old boy/girl twins and this time in their lives is so amazing for them and for us as a family.  I want to stop time but because I can’t I want to be together as much as possible until they decide they don’t want to be with me anymore…

July 4th is one of my favorite holidays (second only to Halloween).  I enjoy the fact that no gift exchange is expected and we choose to spend the day with people we want to be with.  I love the hot summer sun, the BBQ food and the extra day off from work.  As I write this July 4th is next week and I encourage everyone to make the most out of the 4th of July and everyday we have.  We never know what is around the next twist and turn of life.

Action Plan: If you haven’t already carved out some time this summer to do what you want to do for a few days, do it today.  Everyone needs time to get energized and refocused for the season ahead.  Plan a few days off and do something you have been thinking about but haven’t done.

Have a happy and safe 4th of July.

Thank you for reading my blog.

If you like what you read, please ask your friends and family to log on to http://www.heartleader.com and encourage them to sign up for my free weekly blog.

You can learn more about me on my web site at http://www.darylwizelman.com

My book, Heart Leader, can be purchased by clicking the link below.

http://www.bookmasters.com/marktplc/02877.htm

Daryl

My partner, Randy, and I built United Pacific Mortgage (UPM) from a very small broker shop to a mid-sized regional retail mortgage banking operation during 17 years of hard work,good timing, taking advantage of some great opportunities, passing on some poor opportunities. We benefited by experiencing some good luck and some years where the real estate market in Southern California was growing and the demand out paced the supply.

I started at UPM in my mid-twenties and grew as a leader, manager and as a man. I am grateful and fortunate for the experience and UPM will always fill my heart with positive memories and the value of countless lessons on improving in many different areas of my life.

UPM was acquired in July 2007 and the credit crisis followed shortly thereafter. I needed a break from mortgage banking and over the past three years I have had another emotional growth spurt. I also had time to write and publish my book, Heart Leader, and to speak to many people around the country on work/life balance, corporate culture, emotional intelligence and many other topics. It has been an amazing journey.

Now it is time to return to the mortgage business. I have discovered a renewed passion and tremendous interest in recreating an amazing retail loan origination machine within a loving and dynamic corporate culture. This new opportunity will begin in July, almost three years to the date that UPM was acquired. I believe the timing is right and there are a lot of loan officers and support people who want to be with a company that really cares about them and their families.

That being said, I am also very passionate about www.darylwizelman.com and Heart Leader.  I assure you that I will continue the movement I started and I will speak to, inspire and teach every person I can in hopes of improving their lives and/or their careers.  This will never change and the journey is just at the first furlong.

Action plan: My return to mortgage banking got me thinking about challenging the readers of the Heart Leader blog to look into the past and to reflect and discover if there is something that you worked on, a job you had, a company you worked for, a career you pursued or a relationship that you had in the past that you would like to revisit and learn if the interest that was once there is still there.  I hope you will do that and I hope you tell me all about it.

Sometimes taking one step backwards enables you to take two steps forward.

Thank you for reading my blog.

If you like what you read, please ask your friends and family to log on to http://www.heartleader.com and encourage them to sign up for my free weekly blog.

You can learn more about me on my web site at http://www.darylwizelman.com

My book, Heart Leader, can be purchased by clicking the link below.

http://www.bookmasters.com/marktplc/02877.htm

Daryl

Last week was a rough week.  A friend I have known since childhood was diagnosed with colon cancer. Another friend’s wife has stage 4 non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  And yet another person in my community took his own life for what reason we will never know… It feels like everyday I am hearing about someone I know facing an illness or severe challenge.

Is this always the way it was? Is it now magnified because I am in my mid-40’s and I am more aware of the fragility of life?  Are we getting sicker (emotionally and physically) younger?  Is there something in the air we breathe, the food we eat and the water we drink that is causing illness?  Is it the stress we are under (emotionally and physically) from the current recession or from life’s many twists and turns?  Is it the cellular telephone being stuck to our heads or the radiation in the air?   What is going on?????? 

I am grateful for so many people and so many things but I can’t help but to be aware and spend time thinking about those in peril.  I want the sick to be cured and those in pain to be healed.  I hope this season of pain will ease and I will be hearing daily about good health and happiness.  I believe it is out there.

The action plan for this week is to help someone who is emotionally or physically challenged.  An act of kindness, no matter the size will help.  Some suggestions include, a text message, a hand written note, an email, a book that will inspire, some time spent together and/or some prayer. 

In March 2008 I contracted shingles and spinal meningitis due to my stress after the mortgage banking company I built and nurtured was acquired.  The events that followed the acquisition (within weeks  the worldwide credit crisis occurred) caused my illness, a week in the hospital and some dark days, weeks and months.  I needed my support system of friends and family to help me through this painful and very challenging time.  Without them, who knows where I would be today.

Thank you for reading my blog.

If you like what you read, please ask your friends and family to log on to http://www.heartleader.com and encourage them to sign up for my free weekly blog.

You can learn more about me on my web site at http://www.darylwizelman.com

My book, Heart Leader, can be purchased by clicking the link below.

http://www.bookmasters.com/marktplc/02877.htm

I am very fortunate to have loyal, supportive, smart, integrity based people surrounding me in life and at work. I am very proud to say that because I know it is a two way street. I must give first before I can expect anything in return.  I hear my wife tell my children, “you have to be a friend in order to make a friend.” Very true. In my book, Heart Leader, I talk about the need to treat employees more like family members and less like laborers. This has proven to come back to me ten-fold in the form of friendship, loyalty and respect. The influencers I admire most are those who earn trust, respect and who are like-able people. People want to follow people they like and trust.

The result is a team of people that are rowing with you along life’s journey.  They cheer for you when you achieve, succeed or celebrate.  They support you when you are challenged, scared or ill.  This is a very valuable and respected team that should be respected and loved.  We are to celebrate their friendship and commitment to us and our life’s vision.

Life can be lonely.  It is nice to sit shoulder to shoulder with people who care about us.

Action Plan: Write a hand written note to each of the people your life’s “team” and thank them for their friendship, love and support.

Thank you for reading my blog.

If you like what you read, please ask your friends and family to log on to http://www.heartleader.com and encourage them to sign up for my free weekly blog.

You can learn more about me on my web site at http://www.darylwizelman.com

My book, Heart Leader, can be purchased by clicking the link below.

http://www.bookmasters.com/marktplc/02877.htm

Daryl

My wife, Ondrea, talks about how some people are born with what she refers to as “the happy gene.”  These are people that look at things as if the glass is half full and most often view things from a positive point of view.  On the other side of that genetic pool are the folks with “the unhappy gene.”  This blog post is a reminder that we are all going to run into the people who are negative and who spew bitterness and are greedy.  This blog is to remind us to stay away from these folks and if we are forced to interact with them, that we give them some grace/empathy.

We are living in very challenging times for so many reasons.  Many people are struggling emotionally, financially and/or with their health.  It is easy to become negative and pessimistic about the world and the people in it.

The one thing that we can’t know about at first glance is what the person we are interacting with is going through.  They may seem bitter, angry and greedy on the outside but what put them there?  What experience or situation(s) created the negativity?  In most cases there is no way to know.  It would be better if each person we were dealing with had a cloud above their head with their thoughts, feelings and issues on display for all to see.  If this were the case, I know I would offer more grace to the people I interact with on a daily basis.

Action plan: Show more grace/empathy for everyone we have an interpersonal exchange with.  Let’s approach each interaction as if we had knowledge that the person we were talking to has deep financial problems, an illness or is experiencing or has experienced emotional problems or issues. 

End result: In the end, if we give everyone grace/empathy, I hope that the result is we cause ourselves and others less stress and thus we enjoy a happier and more productive life.

Thank you for reading my blog.

If you like what you read, please ask your friends and family to log on to http://www.heartleader.com and encourage them to sign up for my free weekly blog.

You can learn more about me on my web site at http://www.darylwizelman.com

My book, Heart Leader, can be purchased by clicking the link below.

http://www.bookmasters.com/marktplc/02877.htm

 Daryl

Monica Pincus is my Executive Assistant but she is so much more than that.  Monica and I have worked together for over 13 years and have known each other for over 2o years.  She is the yin to my yang.  She is strong where I am weak.  She watches my back to ensure I am protected.  She is calm and hard to anger.  She is smart and loyal.  She has integrity.  She will do anything I ask her to do.  She is trustworthy and likeable.  Monica is my friend and I am hers. I tell you this about Monica because I want you to understand a bit about who she is and what she does to improve my life and my business.  Many of us need someone to do what we can’t do, aren’t willing to do or aren’t proficient in doing.  Know thy self is key here. 

-Know what you like doing.

-Know what brings the most value to your organization.

-Know what areas you are most talented in.

-Outsource as much of the remaining tasks as possible.

Finally, check your ego at the door.  Many of us believe that we are the best at doing x, y or z.  The busier we get and more great opportunities we have the less bandwidth we have.  Learn the discipline of delegation and become a master at it.  Delegate, delegate, delegate.  Concentrate your time in the areas I described above.

 Action plan: Write a list of the tasks, processes, projects, initiatives or action items that you don’t want to do, aren’t good at doing, doesn’t bring the organization value or that you don’t have time to do and ask someone else to do it.  Again, that person can be your spouse, an adult child, a parent, a sibling, an employee, a co-worker or a friend.  Finally, people are most motivated to do what they WANT to do.  Try to find people who are supportive of your vision and are aligned with you in accomplishing your short and long term goals.

We all need help.  Success or failure in life, work and life/work balance may come down to finding our “Monica.”

Thank you for reading my blog.

If you like what you read, please ask your friends and family to log on to http://www.heartleader.com and encourage them to sign up for my free weekly blog.

You can learn more about me on my web site at http://www.darylwizelman.com

My book, Heart Leader, can be purchased by clicking the link below.

http://www.bookmasters.com/marktplc/02877.htm

 Daryl

Fifteen minutes isn’t a very long time. 

One of the topics I speak and consult on is time and priority management.  For many of us we have more to do than we have time to do it in. I understand that time is at a premium and one of the biggest challenges for many of us is to find time in our lives for ourselves.  I refer to this as “me time.”  Me time is vital because it allows us to rejuvenate and refocus our physical and emotional energy on our work.  It is the one step back, two step forward theory.  By taking time away, we become more productive when we return.

For many of us these are challenging economic times and there may not be resources available to take a few days or a week off to relax at a resort or on a beach.  I strongly believe we all need some time each year to check out of our professional lives and relax and/or reflect.  I believe this time is critical.  This can accomplished by taking a day and going to a park, a lake, the mountains or a beach if you live near one or even just taking a ride in your car.  If any of these places bring your heart rate down and allow you to disengage from the pressures of life, I advocate it.  The purpose of this day is to focus to doing something you want to do.  Some of those things include, reflection, reading, write in a journal, listening to music etc…  I like to spend at least 1 day each quarter doing what I want to do with a day.  If you are able to schedule more of these days, that is great.

For those of us who cannot justify (emotionally, professionally or financially) the one day away I have a fallback plan.  That plan is to take 15 minutes everyday and use those 15 minutes to do what you want to do.  We can all find 15 minutes sometime during the day to do the things we want and enjoy doing.  Life is short and often changes quickly.  We never know what is around the next corner.  Because of the finite nature of life, it is vital to take some time for you and doing what you enjoy. 

The action plan for todays blog is to make a list of the things you want to with your 15 minutes of “you time” each day. 

  Thank you for reading my blog.

If you like what you read, please ask your friends and family to log on to http://www.heartleader.com and encourage them to sign up for my free weekly blog.

You can learn more about me on my web site at http://www.darylwizelman.com

My book, Heart Leader, can be purchased by clicking the link below.

http://www.bookmasters.com/marktplc/02877.htm

 Daryl

I have had the great privilege of meeting two living legends.  One is Coach John Wooden and the other is Dodger broadcaster Vin Scully. What I admire most about them is their integrity, loyalty, honesty and commitment to the companies they work/worked for and the people in their lives.

Both of these fine men have served as role models and silent mentors to me.  I have admired them as people and as professionals.  They validate my belief in the goodness of man and the happiness and joy we can share with those we touch.  Just imagine how many lives these two great men have had a positive impact on…  It is a HUGE number. 

I have had the honor of being a guest of Coach Wooden in his home.  I spent an afternoon listening to his wisdom.  He talked about the relationship he had with the love of his life, his wife, Nell, and the great pride he has for his children and grandchildren.  Coach read poetry to me and spoke about finding purpose and passion in life.

Now for the questions and the action plans,

Who are the people in your life who you admire?  Have you told them about the positive impact they have had on your life?  Have you told them how their impact on you has been paid forward to the people that you have touched in your life?  Have you written them a thank you note, told them you love them or shared time with them when they needed you?

The action plan here is to share and thank those who have had a positive impact on you and your life.

Who are the people who admire you?  Are you the role model you want to be?  Where are the places you can improve and be the person you ideally want to be?  How can you increase the size and scope of the impact you are having on the people in your life?

The action plan here is to be the best you can be in every possible situation.  What we say and do is any having an enormous impact on others.

Thank you for reading my blog.

If you like what you read, please ask your friends and family to log on to http://www.heartleader.com and encourage them to sign up for my free weekly blog.

You can learn more about me on my web site at http://www.darylwizelman.com

My book, Heart Leader, can be purchased by clicking the link below.

http://www.bookmasters.com/marktplc/02877.htm

 Daryl

I have heard it said that if we have one REAL friend we are fortunate. As I have aged, I have discovered the definition of deep friendship versus shallow friendship. Both forms are necessary and both have value. The deep friendships require a lot of emotional investment and most of us don’t have the time or energy for too many of these. In addition, these “go to” deep friendships are hard to discover and build. They require time, energy, transparency, vulnerability and integrity.

The shallow friendships are real but they require much less emotional investment. These are the friends who we hang out with but don’t share deep feelings with.

I am lucky to have a few “go to” friends who I can GO TO anytime for anything and my need will be met with embrace, grace, support and love. They have my back.

During the past few years I have experienced some lonely and depressing days. Days where anxiety and fear ruled me. I turned to a few people who I felt would love me for who I was even at that moment when I was fragile and weak. I have called my “go to” friends when I thought I couldn’t continue and my life was a waste and a failure. Those people helped me to focus on all of the blessings in my life and to be grateful for what I have,  not what I don’t.

These are the same people who have cheered my greatest life victories. They are celebrating my success and wanting me to continue to succeed and grow both personally and professionally.

I also learned that to earn these “go to” friends I must make the investment and pour myself into them. It is a 2 way relationship where sometimes we give and other times we take.

I ask you to consider who your “go to” friends are.  Once you have identified them, let them know how you feel about them and why.  These people may be the only people we have to lean on in tough and challenging times.  Make sure today that they know how important they are to you.

If you find yourself without “go to” friends, I suggest you take more risks in some of the friendships you have.  Are you showing your true self to your friends.  Are you transparent and vulnerable?  Do they know the good, the bad and the ugly about you and your life’s experience.  Another suggestion is to invest in them first.  In order to make a friend you have to be a friend.  Be a friend first and see if that leads to a “go to” friendship.

Thank you for reading my blog.

If you like what you read, please ask your friends and family to log on to http://www.heartleader.com and encourage them to sign up for my free weekly blog.

You can learn more about me on my web site at http://www.darylwizelman.com

My book, Heart Leader, can be purchased by clicking the link below.

http://www.bookmasters.com/marktplc/02877.htm

 Daryl